Trigger Shot & IUI.

Update time! =) Last night we did the trigger shot at about 9pm!

I have no idea why, but I was SO nervous for this one! The needle was a bit bigger and thicker, but I think the real reason that I was freaking out was because of what I heard the first time we were at the clinic at Fort Bragg. When we were sitting in the waiting room a couple walked out from being seen and the girl was carrying a little bag. It was the bag containing the trigger shot, only I had no idea at the time until I got my own. Her husband was walking a few stops ahead of her as she was complaining about the "huge" bruise that she got from the shot the last time she took it and how bad it hurt. My thoughts were "bruise.. hurt.. she had to take more than one?!.. shit!" Anyway..  this shot is an intramuscular one and can be given in the front of the leg or the upper butt region. We originally planned on the leg. I sat on a kitchen chair, looked the other way, and Savier went to stab it into me.. but it didn't go in! There was a little spot of blood, but it didn't go all of the way through, so I got even more nervous!! I told him I had to watch a video of this being done so that I knew what I was in for, so he let me pull up youtube and watch a video containing a very disgruntled appearing man giving his wife the shot. (You can find anything on there, it seems!) She got hers in the butt area and it looked like it went in easy, so we decided to change injection site. I sat backwards on the chair and he stabbed it right in! I hardly even felt the needle enter, but as soon as he started pushing the medication in I felt the burn! It stung so bad and as soon as he pulled the needle out it just felt like I got hit with a very fast moving softball! I started massaging it to relieve some discomfort and make sure the medication got in there alright.. and my whole butt cheek just felt paralyzed! (Side note - this post is going to contain some slightly personal and possibly gross information!) We went right to bed after that since my alarm was set for 4:30am!

This morning I made the long three hour drive while Savier slept until the last about 15 minutes of the ride! It was early and dark and rainy and crappy. But we made great time and arrived at Carolina IVF Labs for the sperm wash a few minutes before they opened their doors (more than a half hour earlier than our scheduled appointment, of course!). We filled out a bunch of paperwork and then Savier went back to make his deposit. When he was finished we waited for about 25 minutes for them to do the washing part. She came out with a test tube, a piece of paper with the results for us, and an envelope for us to give to the doctor at Womack (that is the hospital at Fort Bragg). She explained the result to us and told me to put the test tube in my bra to keep it upright and at body temperature until it was time for the IUI! His results were wonderful! She said that to do the IUI they want to have at least 10 million sperm. Before the wash his showed 106 million with 76% motility (strength/the ability to move.. how well of swimmers they are!). Post wash.. the final specimen that was now tucked away in my bra had 101.34 million sperm with 92% motility! 

There was one other girl at this clinic when we were there and she left a few minutes before us. When we got to the waiting room at Womack she was there also! The waiting room was very packed and we ended up sitting right next to her and catching a glimpse of her paper containing their results as she talked on the phone about how frustrated she was. Theirs only had 7 million sperm with motility somewhere in the 40s. I was so very sad for her. =( I swear we saw at least twenty-five pregnant women with all different sized bellies in that room while we waited. I do not know how many of them were a result of fertility treatments, but it just made me so hopeful (and slightly sad at the same time). I can't wait for that to be me <3

Once it was finally time for us to go back, Dori came to get us! She brought us to the room, told me to undress from the waist down, and said that they would be in within a few minutes. 

(How perfect of a quote for the wall of that room!)

When Natalie and Dori walked in together one of them said something about the fact that having both of them in the room made my chances for twins very likely ;) I asked if they had twins and they said no, but they have "helped" to create lots of them through the IUIs that they've done. Natalie's last IUI patient got pregnant with twins, so I'm trying to create a "twinning" streak for her =P I told them that I would love to have twins so that I will never have to go through this again (I really want four kids, but I would be satisfied with just two)! They mentioned my two good eggs and said it's possible! So, I gave Dori the test tube while Natalie got ready. The process was not anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. I expected pain, but it was just fine! They use the same clamp that is used during a typical PAP and the catheter is very thin. Dori put the specimen in the tube while Natalie got the clamp situated. We had a slight delay (5-ish minutes) because my cervix was tilted sideways a little bit, but she just maneuvered the clamp to straighten it out. There was a slight cramp when the tube went through my cervix, but nothing major. Once it was in, it only took about 5 seconds for all of the spermies to be where they needed to be and we were all finished! They said that my cervical mucus looked very good which would be a huge help in making the sperm hold in place.. gross, I know. I needed to lay flat for about 20 minutes after, not really for a medical reason, just for the nurse's peace of mind. The sperm could not fall out once it was already past my cervix because the uterus is actually flat, so it "hugs" the sperm in there.. and the cervix stays tightly closed. This is what we watched on TV during that wait:

We had the choice of fish, a fireplace, or a lava lamp. And I chose the only logical option ;)

Natalie came back in to give me an order for a pregnancy test that I will need to bring to the clinic here in Charleston. I asked her how common it is for IUIs to work on the first try in their office and she said that it is not very, but that the two women that she has seen with the same condition as me both did get pregnant on the first try since the only thing that prevents us from becoming pregnant is the fact that we don't grow and release eggs... and the medications alone force that to happen! This made my hope-o-meter go up a little bit more=) I asked what will happen if this does not work the first time and she said that if my pregnancy test is negative I will get a period since my lining is built up now and I will start the shots again on day three of that. She did say that if I were to take a urine pregnancy test anytime during the next twelve days it would come back positive since my body is getting rid of the trigger shot.. which is just HCG. The blood test can't come back as a false negative, which is why that is scheduled for the 24th! She also wants me to go have one on the 27th just to verify levels and such (mostly if the first is positive). 

We left feeling pretty confident! I just want to stay positive although my heart know that it might shatter in about thirteen and a half days. When we were walking out of the hospital I told Savier that I know I will cry either way when we get the result, but I think I might cry even harder if it is positive! He agreed and reassured me that it is okay to be sad if things don't go our way, but that we have to stay happy about the fact that we at least finally know what is wrong with me, how to treat it, and that I will eventually get pregnant! 

I have so many emotions right now and I am very nervous for my sanity over the next two weeks. I am especially freaking out about the fact that the phone call from Natalie with the results will come while I am at work and Savier will not be there with me to share my tears of pain or joy (and my coworkers will see me unfold). This is going to sound super weird, but I used to not be able to picture myself pregnant. I used to think that it was just completely out of reach and I would look at myself and just be convinced that I would never have that beautiful round belly. I can see it now though. I see it on myself and it is the most perfect sight. I walked into our spare bedroom the other day to get something out of the closet and I pictured it filled with a crib and all of the baby essentials for the first time ever. It nearly took my breath away and it made my heart so very happy. <3

My body feels terrible, but my heart feels wonderful tonight. My right upper butt region just keeps getting more and more sore from that shot and the medication made me terribly constipated (TMI, I know.. but just in case you ever need to take it, you are now warned!). I am completely exhausted and I can't wait to crawl in bed with my love in a few minutes. I will make sure to update over my dreaded two week wait! I'm sure many crazy ideas and thoughts will pop up before then =)

xox.

-N

"Well I've never prayed, but tonight I'm on my knees, yeah." <3